Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
