I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
