I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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