he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize