Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
