Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I believe in your delicious
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
