Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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