I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
