i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
