apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
