I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
