I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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