Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
