would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
