sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
