shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
are you so shy because you have an std?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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