He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
