Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
