I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
May the power of my ass compel you!!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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