the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
