found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
