I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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