OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
