dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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