Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wish I only lived at night.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
