and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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