if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
someone owes me an orgasm
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
