I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Enjoy the penises
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
