well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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