im having a threesome with these popsicles
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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