Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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