I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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