wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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