I must be too annoying 4 u.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
