He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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