Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize
