This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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