That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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