you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
