Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
