didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
