Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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