Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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