so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
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