I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
