we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize