I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize