I am in a vortex of obligation.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
