He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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