You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
