Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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