Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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