Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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