Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
