I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
