She's JV to your varsity
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
