people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
